Thursday, March 10, 2011

Day 2, Living the Paradox

Day two and already some very interesting life lessons gained...

Yesterday,verse 1 of the Tao was about allowing the world to unfold without always trying to figure it out.  It was about desiring something then simply allowing it to occur in the ways and means it is intended without focusing on the way I want/need/think it should manifest.  Yesterday's verse held many powerful take aways, but if I had to sum it up in a single phrase I would say it is truly about being an observer, simply noticing free of judgment, and as one notices, great mysteries/learnings are revealed.

The space in which I am the most challenged of just observing is in being a parent.  How do I apply the Tao to parenting a toddler? I realized yesterday that I judge alot when it comes to myself as a parent.  I want to provide teachings, love, support, guidance, structure, so many "outcomes" in which to raise my child. In a world of labels that attempt to help us understand and define ourselves and the world around us, how do I parent more expansively, peacefully, allowing-ly?

I still have yet to figure this out,but I will at least observe as many opportunities through my wide angle lens to allow my son to blossom into who and whatever expression of life source he is here to be. 

Parenthood, allowing the unfolding of my son,accepting what comes without labeling, lovely, wonderful ahhhh I am sooo zen.... yeh right...

So now fast forwarded to today... I read verse 2 which is the following:

 Under heaven all can be seen as beauty, only because there is ugliness.All can know good as good, only because there is evil.
Being and nonbeing produce each other. The difficult is born in easy. Long is defined by short, the high by the low. Before and after go along with each other.
So the sage lives openly with apparent duality and the paradoxical unity. the sage can act without effort and teach without words. Nurturing things without possessing them, he works, but not for rewards; he competes, but not for results.
When the work is done, it is forgotten. That is why it lasts forever.
Wayne Dyer shares the concept of living the paradox through combining perceived opposites and living a unified life. An example he gave for living the paradox is to notice an opportunity to defend or explain yourself and CHOOSE NOT to.  He says to instead turn within and sense the texture of misunderstanding, feeling it all the way through the physical system and simply being with what IS vs. trying to opt out of it by explaining and defending.  

Wow, really, don't defend my thoughts, my beliefs, my ideas, my rightness???  Haven't I been taught to do the "right thing" my whole life, to get the "right answers" to be the "best". There in lies the paradox, I guess because to be right, implies someone else is wrong.  Hmmm how will this lesson work out???

Ask and you shall receive, at least I did within 5 minutes of reading this verse this morning...
What I got was a big lesson in failing or should I say, "don't judge Melissa, your are living the Tao for the next 80 days.... Oh, yeh, I am living the tao... sure,ok, I didn't fail.... I got major feedback this morning..".


I went into wake up my husband and he made a comment based on a thought that I had done something (that he didn't like) which I did not.  I immediately defended myself and even got ticked off. Not so very zen!  I did however realize as the last of the words were leaving my mouth what had just happened.  I got up, went away, observed the feeling and allowed it to move through me, then I went back and apologized for getting so defensive. This non defensive thing is going to take some work!

My take away already today is how we are all on such auto pilot of reacting and responding vs. observing.  I totally get that if I or my husband were able to have zoomed our personal lens out to see more than our narrow focal point that the conflict would not have occurred and the understanding would have presented itself in the very mystery of the process as verse 1 spoke of yesterday.

If I sound like Yoda, sorry, this stuff is already making a tiny shred of sense and I am just typing as I am allowing the information to simply process through.  From here until tomorrow, I will do my very best to observe the paradox and minimize my attempts to label, to judge and to defend or explain my views over another.  Today I will do my very best to simply allow life and all that it is to be ALL that it IS in it's own unique expression.

Join me tomorrow for day and verse 3 as I continue my81 day journey with the Tao as shared in Wayne Dyers book, Change your thoughts, Change your life- Living the Wisdom of the Tao.

With Gratitude & Acceptance,
Melissa

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